It's been a long time since I touched this little private space, more than three months or longer.

 

That day, the day I left my last entry I was thinking of anything behind me: faded time, a girl, some of my accomplishments. But, now what has passed had passed forever, even the smell of that club starts slipping away from my mind.

 

Sometimes, people have problem of spending their lives: 24 hours, 1440 minutes, and 86400 seconds,  when you only have the power to count them, you will find it be a rather shameful situation. And, I am living in this situation, NOW!

 

Let's get rid of talking about anything as to, like finding the job, applying the university which are surely some torments.

 

Whenever you have nothing to do on your hands, your brain cells call all the shots. Billions of cells won't just rest; imagine, the electrons are travelling through your nerves, all the chemicals are reacting with each other; how are you going to stop them for you can not even see them. It's impossible for a person, to shut down this machine for as little as one second, because god made us, he wants us to feel the life, feel the god damned beautiful life. And druing this silly, short life, you must not waste any tiny segment of it.

 

Why? Everybody is seeking something valuable through out their 70 years strugglings, averagely, nobody understands the true meaning of it. After that, a long farewell sends you to another world, vanity.

 

Sadly, nobody will understand the true meaning of vanity before the death, because nobody can relive. When I was a child, I was always thinking a very stupid thing about a predator and its victim. I was thinking that, if even one of the victims can be relived and it had the chance to tell those who are still alive how the predator hunted them; would there be any victims at all?

 

Truth is Almighty God created this eternal wall, and blocked us by any means to reach the other side of the world, and brings us enough contents for being alive.

 

Being alive the most precious thing you can ever own.

 

No matter how many doubts inside my heart, I will still choose to burn my soul, the flame will last until the day the I start to languish. I am longing for that neverland and the day I reach there, I must have carved my name on the stone of destiny.

 

Let the storm be stronger